Kev sib txuas lus nrog tib neeg yog qhov chaw tseem ceeb hauv peb lub neej. Yog tsis muaj nws, kev hlub thiab kev sib raug zoo ntawm tsev neeg, kev phooj ywg, kev ua haujlwm, kev lag luam yuav ua tsis tau. Raws li txoj cai, cov neeg uas paub cov txuj ci ntawm kev sib txuas lus tsim tau ua tiav zoo hauv lawv lub neej thiab kev ua haujlwm. Tab sis yuav ua li cas koj kawm sib txuas lus constructively? Lub tswvyim ntawm "kev sib tham tswv yim" txhais tau li cas? Koj tuaj yeem nrhiav cov lus teb rau cov lus nug no thiab lwm cov lus nug hauv peb tsab xov xwm.
Kev tsim yog dab tsi?
Yuav kom nkag siab qhov kev sib tham tsim nyog txhais tau li cas, koj yuav tsum xub paub lub ntsiab lus ntawm lo lus "constructive". Kev tsim kho yog kev ua lossis kev tawm tsam uas yog tsom rau kev daws teeb meem kev ua haujlwm, normalizing kev sib raug zoo thiab txhim kho qhov teeb meem nyuaj. Qhov opposite ntawm constructive yog kev puas tsuaj. Yog ib tug neeg sivhais lus phem, thuam, liam lwm tus neeg (uas yog, koom nrog cov haujlwm uas siv sijhawm thiab ua rau tsis muaj dab tsi) - qhov no yog kev puas tsuaj.
kev sib tham: lub ntsiab lus ntawm lo lus
Ntau zaus peb sib txuas lus nrog tib neeg kom muaj kev lom zem, muaj sijhawm zoo thiab sib qhia peb kev xyiv fab thiab kev paub. Tab sis yuav ua li cas nyob rau hauv rooj plaub thaum peb ntsib nrog ib txoj hauj lwm nyuaj uas yuav tsum tau muaj kev txawj daws teeb meem? Nyob rau hauv cov xwm txheej zoo li no, kev sib tham tsim nyog los rau kev cawm, uas ua rau nws muaj peev xwm nrhiav tau kev sib koom ua ke thiab qhia txog kev taw qhia kom ua tiav lub hom phiaj tshwj xeeb. Ntau tus neeg yuam kev ntseeg tias kev sib txuas lus tsim nyog tsuas yog hauv cov haujlwm tshaj lij xwb. Qhov tseeb, nws ua lub luag haujlwm tseem ceeb hauv kev sib raug zoo ntawm tsev neeg thiab. Nws tsis zoo li koj yuav tuaj yeem daws teeb meem ntawm koj tsev neeg yog tias koj siv cov tswv yim sib tham tsis zoo.
Dab tsi yog qhov txawv ntawm kev sib tham tsim thiab kev sib tham ib txwm?
Peb xav tias koj twb tau nkag siab zoo li kev sib tham lossis kev sib tham. Tab sis qhov no ua rau lwm lo lus nug: kev sib txuas lus zoo sib txawv li cas ntawm kev sib txuas lus zoo ib yam? Zoo, cia peb sim ua kom tiav.
Qhov txawv ntawm cov ntsiab lus no yog nyob rau hauv lub hom phiaj ntawm kev sib tham, thiab, ntawm chav kawm, nyob rau hauv cov style ntawm kev sib tham nws tus kheej. Lub ntsiab lus ntawm kev sib tham tsim nyog yog nyob rau hauv kev tshawb nrhiav qhov tseeb uas tsim lub ntiaj teb kev pom ntawm tus neeg. Kev sib tham uas tsis muaj lub hom phiaj yog kev sib tham zoo tib yam. Xws likev sib tham tsuas yog tsom rau kev sib pauv ntaub ntawv ntawm tib neeg. Thiab qhov no txhais tau hais tias los ntawm kev sib tham, ib tug neeg tsuas tshuav qhov zoo lossis qhov tsis zoo xwb.
Ib tus yam ntxwv ntawm kev sib tham tsim nyog yog kev sib koom siab xav kom nkag siab, thiab txog thaum lub hom phiaj no tiav, cov neeg sib tham yuav txuas ntxiv sib txuas lus. Qhov no txhais tau hais tias thaum ua tiav ntawm qhov kev sib tham, tus neeg txoj kev xav ntawm ib qho teeb meem yuav tsum hloov.
Rule 1
Kev sib txuas lus thiab hwm yog lub hauv paus ntawm kev sib tham tsim nyog. Cov neeg tuaj yeem tuaj yeem sib tham txog cov teeb meem nkaus xwb yog tias lawv pom tias tus interlocutor tau mob siab rau hauv kev sib tham. Kev thuam, qw, hais lus tsis txaus siab lossis banal inattention tsuas yog ua rau tsis muaj lub siab xav sib txuas lus, thiab yog li ua txhaum txoj haujlwm tseem ceeb ntawm kev sib tham - kev tshawb nrhiav qhov tshwm sim uas yuav haum rau ob tog.
Qhov no yog txoj cai yooj yim heev, uas, hmoov tsis, tsis yog ib txwm hwm. Ib txhia yuav hais tias: "Kuv yeej tsis zoo li ntawd. Kuv ib txwm mloog tus interlocutor." Tej zaum qhov no muaj tseeb. Tab sis "kev mloog tus neeg tham" thiab "hnov tus neeg tham" yog qhov sib txawv kiag li.
Nyem hauv qab no peb yuav qhia rau koj txog lwm txoj cai tseem ceeb uas txhua tus neeg uas xav kawm hais lus tsim nyog yuav tsum paub.
Sijhawm Ncej
Qhov tseem ceeb tshaj plaws hauv kev daws teeb meem yognws lub sijhawm. Feem ntau cov neeg pib tham txog dab tsi twb tshwm sim: "Nag hmo koj tsis tau tshem tawm lub thoob khib nyiab"; "Koj yuav tsum tau qhia kuv txog nws tam sim tom qab nws tshwm sim"; "Koj yuav tsum tau nqa qhov no ib lub lim tiam dhau los." Cov lus zoo li no yuav tsis ua rau muaj kev daws teeb meem. Lawv yuav ua rau tus neeg yuav pib tawm mus nrhiav kev zam.
Nco ntsoov tias yav dhau los hloov tsis tau. Koj tuaj yeem cuam tshuam rau tam sim no thiab yav tom ntej. Kev tham txog yav dhau los yuav tsim nyog tsuas yog thaum koj txheeb xyuas qhov yuam kev uas yuav tsum tau zam yav tom ntej. Piv txwv li, yog tias koj tus menyuam tsis ua nws cov ntawv ua tom tsev raws sijhawm, koj yuav tsum xub nkag siab lub hauv paus ntawm qhov teeb meem: nws puas tsis to taub txoj haujlwm, tsis muaj sijhawm vim nws tsis khoom nrog lwm yam kev kawm, lossis tsuas yog tsis xav ua. ua lawv? Los ntawm kev txheeb xyuas qhov laj thawj ntawm qhov teeb meem, koj tuaj yeem tiv thaiv cov teeb meem yav tom ntej.
xaiv txoj kev sib tham
Cov tub ceev xwm sib tham ntawm lawv tus kheej cov kev txiav txim siab ntawm lawv cov kev tswj hwm: qee tus tsis txaus siab rau qhov txo qis ntawm lub sijhawm teem caij so noj su, lwm tus tsis txaus siab rau lub tshuab cua txias uas tsis ua haujlwm hauv tshav kub, lwm tus tsis txaus siab nrog tsis muaj lub thoob khib nyiab hauv chaw ua haujlwm, thiab lwm yam. Yog tias lawv tsuas yog sib tham nrog lawv tus kheej, thaum kawg lawv yuav tsis ua tiav ib yam dab tsi. Nrog cov lus nug zoo li no, nws yuav tsim nyog hu rau koj cov thawj coj ncaj qha (yog tias muaj lus pom zoo).
Siv cov lus tseeb
Ntau zaus peb yuav tsum tau hnov cov lus hauv qab no: "Koj tsis to taub dab tsi txog qhov no"; "Kuv paub tseeb,hais tias nws yuav raug ntau dua"; "Kuv paub zoo dua." Ntawm ib sab, ib tug neeg xav muab qhov hnyav rau nws txoj kev xav, tab sis qhov tseeb, cov kab lus no tsis muaj tseeb thiab tsis muaj kev sib cav. Nws twb tshwm sim tias tib neeg tsis ua. ib txwm paub yuav ua li cas thiaj siv tau qhov tseeb.
Piv txwv li, rau lo lus nug: "Vim li cas peb yuav tsum ya mus so hauv lub tebchaws "A" thiab tsis nyob hauv lub tebchaws "B"? lo lus teb yog: "Vim kuv xav li ntawd." Cov kab lus no paub txog ntau tus khub niam txiv. Nws tsuas yog tsis paub meej tias tus txiv / tus poj niam txhais li cas los ntawm qhov no. Hnub so hauv lub tebchaws "A" pheej yig dua? Los yog qhov xwm txheej thiab cov xwm txheej zoo dua nyob ntawd? Tsis txhob hnov qab cov lus qhia tshwj xeeb thiab cov lus sib cav!
daws qhov teeb meem, tsis txhob hloov tus neeg sib tham
Nyob hauv lub neej, ntau tus neeg feem ntau sim hloov lwm tus rau lawv tus kheej. Koj yuav tsum tau sim tshem tawm qhov zoo li no kom sai li sai tau. Paub tias koj tsis zoo li yuav hloov tau lwm tus tuaj yeem tiv thaiv ntau yam teeb meem uas yuav tshwm sim yav tom ntej.
Koj muaj txoj haujlwm tshwj xeeb ua ntej koj. Xav txog qhov teeb meem uas peb tau hais dhau los - tus menyuam tsis muaj sijhawm los ua homework. Hauv qhov xwm txheej zoo li no, koj tsis tas yuav rhuav koj tus menyuam thiab sim rov qhia nws hauv txoj kev tsis zoo. Ib tug me nyuam yuav tsis ua homework tsis yog vim nws yog ib tug thab plaub thiab ib tug loafer. Tej zaum nws tsis khoom ntau heev. Lossis, cov kws qhia ntawv siv sijhawm ntau heev, thiab vim li no, nws tsuas tsis muaj sijhawm los ua haujlwm rau lwm yam kev kawm. Muaj qhov ua tau,tias nws tsuas tsis to taub qhov no lossis lub ntsiab lus ntawd. Raws li koj tuaj yeem pom, tuaj yeem muaj ntau yam laj thawj. Qhov tseem ceeb yog txheeb xyuas qhov teeb meem thiab sim daws nws.
kev thuam
Kev sib tham tsim nyog - yog dab tsi? Peb xav tias peb twb tau daws qhov teeb meem no lawm. Tam sim no nws yog lub sijhawm los xav txog lub tswv yim ntawm "kev thuam tsim nyog", txij li nws yog inextricably txuas nrog kev sib tham tsim nyog. Raws li koj tuaj yeem nkag siab, kev tsim kho yog qhov sib npaug thiab kev thuam, uas tsis muaj kev thuam thiab lwm yam cim ntawm kev puas tsuaj.
Yog koj xav kom ib tug neeg sau koj cov lus thiab kho lawv qhov yuam kev, yuav tsum tsis txhob muaj kev ua phem rau koj qhov kev thuam. Ntawm qhov tsis sib xws, kev sib tham yuav tsum muaj nyob rau hauv lub suab zoo. Cov qauv ntawm kev thuam kev tsim kho:
- Qhia.
- Criticize.
- Qhia.
Tam sim no cia peb saib qhov no nrog piv txwv. Wb hais tias koj yog tus thawj coj ntawm lub tuam tsev. Ib tug ntawm koj cov subordinates, uas tsis tau tso koj tseg ua ntej, ua tsis tiav nws txoj haujlwm. Xav txog tias nws lub npe yog Igor. Yuav ua li cas rau qhov xwm txheej zoo li no?
- Pib nrog kev tshuaj xyuas zoo. Piv txwv li: "Igor, dhau lub hli dhau los koj tau ua tau zoo. Los ntawm kev ua haujlwm hnyav thiab kev ua siab ntev, koj tau dhau los ua ib tus neeg ua haujlwm zoo tshaj plaws hauv peb chav haujlwm." Thaum hnov cov lus txhawb zog li no, koj tus thawj coj yuav npaj siab los tham txog cov ntsiab lus uas yuav tsum tau txhim kho.
- Sib tham txog yam yuav tsum tau hloov pauv thiab txhim kho. Piv txwv li: “Tam sim no, koj tseem muaj chavloj hlob. Koj tsuas yog ib nrab ua tiav koj txoj kev npaj rau lub hlis no. Wb tham txog dab tsi koj tuaj yeem ua tau los txhim kho daim duab no lub hlis tom ntej."
- Xaus kev sib tham ntawm daim ntawv zoo. Piv txwv: "Kuv xav tias nrog koj lub peev xwm koj yuav tsis muaj teeb meem ntau los daws qhov teeb meem no."
Ntawm no peb thov kom xaus peb tsab xov xwm. Tam sim no koj paub tias kev sib tham tsim nyog txhais li cas, thiab yuav ua li cas hauv koj lub neej thiab tom haujlwm. Peb cia siab tias peb cov ntawv tshaj tawm nthuav dav rau koj thiab koj tau kawm ntau cov ntaub ntawv!
